Monday, January 31, 2011

Hair...and just giving in..



Me with Straight Hair!
I was born with the craziest..FUZZIEST...curly hair..lol...Have had it all my life and have fought it most of my life..lol..Must have been in line for hiker legs and missed the Hair jackpot in the lottery of genetics. It's truly awful...like a poodle on Prozac..lol..but it's ME! Have had it straightened a few times and every time I look in the mirror I wonder who that person is. Silly right? It's like my hair... it's part of me and to make it tame is to make me generic...or boring.

Being the HOT chick has not been a priority..especially as I get older....not a "Cougar" and in fact own nothing tight or leopard print or low cut. And to make me even less sexy I have a FRO! LOL! The funny thing is I get hit on all the time...in the grocery store...at the gas station...at the playground. And I always look behind me like there was a mistake or something..lol...and that leads to laughter and me blushing a million shades of red...and oh yeah..I'm a red head to boot! Red...tightly curled...really BAD hair..and somehow I attract men....eat your hearts out straighties..LOL! But it's not the hair that attracts..it's my OPENESS! I am approachable..to the EXTREME! I've heard life stories in the TP section that would curl your toes and never saw those people again..lol...I've had Moms just look at me and break into tears and we held hands and talked over the yogurt and sour cream. My friend John thinks it's my eyes..the windows to my soul scream TALK TO ME! The deep brown eyes that commiserate...and turn you on...LOL!

But I think it's the hair! Susan Boyle has a true style compared to me..lol..and that makes me non-threatening..kind of kooky...and someone that obviously cares not for my looks...someone that cares about others and am far too busy to give an hour a day to my hair! Which is true...really...gonna stand in front of a mirror and straighten my hair? HELL NO! Especially living in a rain a forest and as soon as I step outside the work of the morning is POOF! LITERALLY!

So here I am...with my really bad hair..and pretty dam happy! Sent my husband the straightened hair pic and a pic of it curly and guess what he likes better? THE CURLY! It's who I am! And happy that people feel good about talking to me..and happy they walk away with a smile on their face....though... if there is such thing as reincarnation I would like to come back as a strong woman without pubic hair on my head....lol...

30/31 without retail therapy but now have a child that broke the zipper...yes F#$%#% Urban Planet....lasted 2 MONTHS! Made some calls and hope to get a replacement by tomorrow.

Big Mama FRO LOVE to you ALL!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Motherhood.....it's WORTH IT!


That pic was taken 5 1/2 years ago...Ty was 4 months old, Ben 6, Joe 4 and Sam 2ish..lol...In Drumheller at the Dinosaur museum. WOW! Can't believe I actually had so many little ones all at ONCE! LOL!

So how does a woman in Canada raise 4 boys by herself for the most part? Thank her lucky stars! I mean really...look at what we have access to and am fortunate enough to have a decent income to pay for extras. Have been involved in the Peace movement for a number of years and can honestly say am grateful to be female in Canada. I can CHOOSE just about anything...I have a VOICE in my family...I have running water and HEAT...I have my private parts in ONE piece (although after 4 kids one can question that..lol)...But you get my point...how DARE I complain when most women in the world are traded or mamed or raped or in a position of powerlessness....NO influence as to their children's education, marriages...can't even go get tomatoes without a male escort......or have no access to food at all...or water....watching their children die of starvation...die from violence...be sold to sex traffickers...basically my worst fucking nightmare happens every day...9 million children die EVERY YEAR...all under the age of 5!

So don't ask me how I do it...I just DO! It ain't easy....it's all of my heart and soul into these boys. I gave up a very good career to be home and mentor them...so they better turn out right! LOL! And they know that if they were born in Yemen that they would most likely be poor and hungry and will be educated by the "church" and learn to hate us Westerners.....

But to be BRUTALLY honest there are days I am such a BITCH! Have had enough of "MOM" "MOM"..."MOM".."MOM"...and the fighting! And the endless demands to make this.....help with that...drive here...entertain...homework...cleaning...laundry...meals...I'm so much smarter than this! LOL! The mess by "accident" is my favourite...hmmmm...sure! Being a MOM is HARD WORK! Especially in a culture where the expectation is ENORMOUS! I have to bake for 25 kids plus look polished and get junior 1 to hockey and junior 2 to baseball and junior 3 to karate and junior 4 to guitar lessons? All the while having a pristine clean house and gourmet meals on the table....are you KIDDING ME? So I shop for the gourmet meals when? We have such a crazy standard of living that we forget to stop and smell the roses...and in my world during the rain.... it's stop and smell the fungus..lol..It's INSANE!

At what point do we say ENOUGH! My kid will never be an olympic swimmer so maybe we should take Thursdays for family time? Have started that path in the last 6 months and we HIKE more together...we swim for FUN! We make muffins with egg shells and playdough in many colours...that does end up on my carpet but SO WHAT! Isn't the point of having kids is to ENJOY IT? Why are we racing to this and racing to that....drive thru meals that poison us the staple of the day?

MAKE a meal from scratch with the kids helping.....it's entertainment without the nonsense..lol...you will LOL and have a hell of a mess to clean up but it's fun! And family time! And maybe get them to eat something other than chicken nuggets...shudder....the smell of those things is disgusting!

Don't get me wrong...I have very high expectations for my kids and PUSH them! BUT...maybe I'm not the smartest person on the planet about what is best for them...maybe they know better....trying to LISTEN at this point...and be PRESENT! They are all growing up so fast....enjoy the small moments...create memories.....stay CONNECTED!

My Mom passed away 4 months ago...we grew up poor...but I never felt like I lacked because my Mom was so creative with her time and resources...and I reflect upon her and remember that childhood is SHORT! Childhood should be FUN! Childhood should create life long LOVE!

Take the time to build the connection..it means more than the lessons you paid for or the birthday party that rocked the neighborhood...in fact...it will be the difference between TRUE love and BLIND ambition.

So we are 28/29 without retail therapy...and took 3 boys for a two hour hike in the pouring rain...Sam said "I LOVE the rain!"...that's my BOY!

XO

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

SEX!


A girl has gotta love a COWBOY! And I don't mean the calf roping kind..lol...After 15 years and 4 kids I think I can honestly give some really good advice about sex in marriage..and how to keep it HOT!

It's NOT what you are wearing, or how you smell or how good you look naked..it's how you move! And how you flirt with your guy..he loves the side long look or the butt in the air as you get up...simple little things that tweak that OTHER brain....lol...And when you are having good sex something in your being glows and others notice.."Your skin looks really good".....Why thank you (wink)..."You look taller" (really?)..."You lost weight!" (Yes I did...tee hee) But the challenge when you are away so much...and have so many kids changes the rules. The "experts" say schedule and have date nights and give each other lovely notes....WRONG! Grab his ass and kiss him as much as you can....and he grabs yours and kisses you too! It's not quantity..it's the quality...and if you are like me and it happens between work away and the schedule of kids...you have to flirt more! I know that there are plenty of women flirting with Ron in Mexico...they see him as an opportunity. I get that! Go for it Senoritas! But I know he is true to me because....I flirt my ass off with him and LOVE IT! He comes home and knows that He has something to look forward...though he has no idea what I will do next....hahhahaaa...those little girls in Mexico are competing with a BIG ASS MAMA that appreciates her assets...and am not shy about it...lol...BUT..it's a two way street...I'll be making dinner and hubby will come up to me and hug and squeeze and kiss...and yes we get caught all the time by the boys...but they just giggle and cover their eyes and peek and giggle....and KNOW that Mom and Dad love each other...although Ty at this point knows we hug a lot...I'm not sure he really "get's it"..lol...and I'm sure Sammy thinks sex is just kissing and squeezing and saying nice things to each other..lol....

So the rules of a crazy busy marriage are as follows:
1 - FLIRT!
2 - Quickies count!
3 - FLIRT!
4 - When quality presents itself..TAKE IT!
5 - FLIRT!

We schedule Date Nights when he is home..and it's really great to have that time just to talk..but it does not guarantee a hot night of sex as you never know what you will come home to..lol...

So we are 25/26 without retail therapy....though I did take 2 five year olds swimming for 2 hours and went on a hike that lead to a mud pit...when you look at those shoes in the mud do you really want to buy more? LOL!

Keeping it honest! XO

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Technology! UGHGHGHG!!!!!!!!!!


So.....my key board bit the dust...and I mean BIT IT! Not a key working. Poof! Overnight it decided it had had enough...kids?...hmmmm.......lol...So I post this on my FB and get a wonderful offer of a free keyboard..YIPPY! Used and free..lol...but the connection was the round plug in...my computer is USB only! Typical %^%^$ computer industry...lets change up the attachments and chargers so the consumer has to buy new....and make sure the accessories last only  year...UGHGHGHGH!!! Is it just me or do you agree that things are made to work just within the warranty period them WHAM!....they fall apart...just in time for you to fork out more money for a "better" model. So I went to Staples and got a wireless keyboard..on sale...and find it quite handy doing taxes as I can move it around the stacks of receipts..lol..

In retrospect my dislike of shopping actually follows the technological advancements....I don't get it! MP3? Ipod? Ipad? Gigabyte? Etc....as long as my programs work the how of it is all a mystery....and the new technology just confuses me more. Now when I walk in a store it's Blu-Ray this vs HD that...???? If it were not for my FB friends my choice of TV for my hubby for Xmas would have been sorely lacking..lol...So you can imagine my confusion when I walk into a mall and look at all this stuff I don't understand and have no desire to get even a smidgen of knowledge about.....my lack of desire to even be there is heightened immensely!

Even writing this blog has challenged the techie side of my brain....how do I add pics? Oh no!...the pic took over the whole page!...how to make it smaller?...oh no I deleted it?...nope..there it is...the size of a pea....ughghghghhg...lol! Editing the format? Took me 15 tries and it's staying as is for now..lol....Adding links? It creates a new post but there is a way to attach it to the bottom of current posts...just have no clue how to do it....And can't phone a friend as we are all kind of on the same wave length....so....it's trial and error and error some more..lol...

So we are 24/25...I needed a key board compatible with my computer and had no way around that one unless I went on a week long quest...which given it is tax season and I'm swamped...was not an option for me. The kids still need shoes...and told them to suck it up buttercups and give me a chance to find some used..lol....I know...such a mean Mom....get over it kids...;)

Technically Challenged...and then some...Big Ass Mama Love to you all!
XO

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sometimes the Fight is worth it!


This is Peter....my sister's husband. FUNNY guy! It's his birthday today and he and my sister are off to ski at Hemlock while BFF Nadine and I take care of their girls. I'm happy to add 2 extra to the 4 that I already have for the day. Couple time is really important. And with both of them working full time it doesn't happen often enough. Ron and I went years without taking that time for each other...by the 7th year married we didn't even know each other any more.

It's hard to look at your husband and realize that you don't like him very much anymore...and vice versa...that you have nothing to talk about except the kids and your deep connection disappeared between work, diapers and potty training. Of course we had 3 kids, one of whom had autism, and another on the way. It was the worst 2 years of my life...and of my marriage. Pressure to be the good mom, the super advocate for my special needs son, and renovating a house all that the same. Trying to keep stress free for the sake of the baby inside me I checked out of the marriage....and so did Ron. We were room mates...not lovers....we were strangers...not best friends. We never took time out for each other. He began working in Mexico again so he was gone for weeks at a time. By the time he would come home for 2 weeks I was WIPED! The last thing I wanted to do was use any energy for the big baby beside me..lol...and just wanted to catch up on some sleep. We said things to each other that should never had been said...further building the divide.  I can honestly say I despised him...couldn't even look at him...the hateful words thrown at me fresh in my mind always. To the outside world we were doing just fine...but I was in a deep hole of sadness, anger..and yes...even revenge. How dare he take away my successful life before him then threaten to leave me with so many kids and no means of support. I wallowed in this for months!

Then something happened...I listened to a radio talk show and this women had forgiven her husband for cheating and they were stronger than ever. She sounded so happy, calm...even giddy! If she can forgive that maybe I can forgive words. I promised myself to fake it until we make it. I started speaking with kindness instead of bitterness. Sure enough Ron started speaking to ME in that way. We were healing our relationship with our words...and the intimacy soon followed. It took many months and many a long talk about what we needed from each other, what our definitions of success were. What is first? Money or family? He began to realize that a truly successful man is succesful in his relationships first...and the rest with follow. I began to realize that I had taken him for granted while I raised our kids and that I was a wife FIRST...a mother second. As soon as a couple puts themselves first...the rest will follow. The kids are still happy...in fact more so as they see happy parents.

So as we all trot along in our lives let's remember what is most important. OUR RELATIONSHIPS! Forgive and do not take for granted....and remember that words have power to HEAL just as much as they have power to destroy. After 15 years together (13 married) I can honestly say the fight was worth it...back better than ever...best friends and intimate partners in every way. It is what marriage should be (I think anyways)...and I always remember to use my words wisely and thank him for being the marvelous husband and father he is.

And we are 21/22 without retail therapy....though I have two that need shoes..ughghg....May try to make it to VV in Vancouver to see what they have. Stop growing boys! LOL!

XO

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

"BUBBLES"


My Joe...my first experience with deep grief...and the one that showed me the path to true love and acceptance. He's my 2nd...was the cutest baby and so much fun. I had severe post partum after Joe and some of it is a blank. Ron and my family have filled me in....and the pictures and video too. When Joe was 2 1/2 I had just had Sam...and the boy that liked to puddle jump disappeared! He stopped talking, started flapping his arms, jumping on beds, furniture etc....I protected my nursing baby thinking at first Joe was just PISSED OFF! Two months later I realized that Joe was gone...he had left the building! Called the child development centre and within 2 weeks a speech therapist appeared and told me...Your son is autistic! What? What does that mean? It took him 4 months to say ONE word...BUBBLES! Enrolled him in preschool with supported care, speech therapy, OT..etc...but it took 10 months to get to see the "specialists" for a diagnosis.

My depression threatened to return...but I got MAD! FUCK YOU AUTISM! I wanted my son back and fought like hell to get him. Kind of like that Poltergeist movie where they try to save the little girl....call in the experts...listen to them....learn as much as you can...and be willing to throw yourself into it with all your heart and soul. I learned a whole new lingo, met with professionals and enrolled him at the FV Next Step Autism program...where we met Anneka...the single most influential woman to Joe for 3 years....my guru of intervention...our gift! She encourgaed me to try this and that...even though the experts were telling me not to. Always challenged that boy...you think I will park there? NOPE! You think we are going home after school? NOPE! Any little thing that he had to have I took away...always! They kept telling me to have a "schedule" and to have a picture story for every occurance...Yeah right! By this time I had given birth to Ty...so I had an 18 month old, a new born, a 7 year old that had just moved towns...and a very autistic boy...oh..and a husband in Mexico. Enter my Mom! She took over the home front while I battled for Joe and did all the extra stuff.

Joe had to go with the flow...and he progressed! He had tremendous support with MACL and his weekly outings. He had tremendous support with Anneka and he had a mother that would not take NO for an answer! He starting speaking a bit at 5...mostly repeating movies etc..echolalia. The first time he did this..which was the MOMENT I knew he had it in him was when I played Skynards "Sweet Home Alabama" and after 2 listenings he sang it word for word. HA! Got ya! Half way through kindergarten he got a new EA..Mrs. Workman! Tearing up thinking about her....the greatest gift to Joe as a support and teacher. By grade 1 he was talking...by grade 2 he was reading...and now in grade 4 he is one of the smartest in his class! He had Mrs. Naughton for 2 years as well...one of the most gifted teachers on the planet...and a good team mix with Mrs. Workman. My autistic boy that used to bite himself till he bled, spread his poo everywhere!...rock back and forth....never make eye contact...line things up instead of play....scratch his eyes till they were unrecognizable...IS HERE! And funny! And smart! And does not stop talking! And LOVES! And observes and fits in..though he has quite an ego..lol...Most people have no idea that Joe is on the ASD sprectrum...and are shocked when they hear. :)

So NEVER say NEVER! And always trust your instincts. And push to get the best for your child....can't even count how many meetings I have been to..most times just me and a room of 6 or more professionals. BE their voice and don't feel like you are not the expert because you ARE! That is YOUR child! You know them better than anybody! And FEEL the grief...share it...cry...hug...love...it's all part of it.

Joe's journey is far from over and we will have many a bad day to come...teenagers! UGHGH...lol....but I know that he has the foundation to get through it....and he has fought so hard to be HERE! HE is the real hero in all of this...HE wants to be present and enjoy and laugh and learn.....the real lesson for all of us.

When a boy in a bubble can learn to break through and thrive than any one of us can too.

Grateful is an understatement! XO

Monday, January 17, 2011

I am FAT!

Ben with best man Greg and the best friend any one could ask for. It seems like yesterday Greg held Ben in his arms at 8lbs and all legs..lol..and now Ben is taller and just as funny. My dearest Ben...the sweetest boy and funniest boy....he can do a Can Can like a pro and laugh at himself while doing it. My first born and the one that got my weight issues...sigh...Ben and I are the Clan of MacDonald..the Clan that had better be hiking those hills or we will be fat! I wish I could take away the pain of it but then I know being a fat teenager made me stronger. I value pretty much less than I value smart! Ben will see that too and will have really marvelous smart friends....though they may not get invited to the Friday night parties in college....YIPPY! I worked every Friday and I hope he does too...and had to wake up at 5am on a Saturday to open the restaurant or gas station...mwahahhahah....Work saved me from feeling bad about myself. It gave me a purpose and a pay cheque. It allowed a sense of self without family to validate it. It allowed a sense of self that I created. Being different is hard...being FAT in our culture is worse than a drug addict..you are looked upon as being lazy and stupid...when the truth is you are the opposite for the most part. Nobody cared that I got good grades or that I volunteered for the Lions Club bingo night...in high school I was the Big girl that was FUN! I worked a lot but still had fun...but not one boy in my graduating class ever asked me out. The chubby side kick...the chubby funny girl. Looking back I had more fun than the pretty girl. No pressure to be pretty..and still got to be what I wanted..do what I wanted..no boy telling me to do this or that...I think it has influenced me immensely. For the most part high school was FUN!

And as I look in the mirror at my 40 year old face and my 4 boys later body I have no insecurities...it's ME! I don't have a pretty to aspire to...I don't have an image that is a relic of the past. My body is just that..a body...my heart and mind and love are what the people that love me see. No doubt as to my worth as I know it's deeper than my crows feet.

I hope Ben has a great high school experience too...and not be too hard on himself for being different and "bigger". Life is too short! I hope he has the the same type of peer group that knew how to have fun...without making anyone feel less as a person. Grad 88 was a special kind of group. We kind of all mixed and mingled and had fun without creating drama. And 22 years later I am happily married with 4 boys and still have the big ass..lol...good thing hubby is an ass man..lol...

16/17 without retail therapy...not that I had a chance though..9 days with sick kids and Sam got really sick tonight...got another week at least at home. Missing the mountain!

Big Mama Ass love to you all..XO

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I love you..I love you more..I love you greater!


My Sammy....the cutest most disruptive boy on the planet...lol...he LOVES and he DESTROYS all at the same time. My Hercules with a dash of Don Juan...that boy that you cannot help but love and yet is the instigator of everything! When the dam burst he jumped in it....when his brother got sick he held his head and gave him juice. That infuriating combination of Macho and Kindness....the girls will swoon when he is older..lol...I better make sure he has his own cell phone as I know what that kind of combo can do to a girl...Oh yeah! I married it! My honey! He's a macho, red necked, golfing, boy time, uncensored good ol' boy...and I love him crazy....lol...A girl likes the Manly man and his manly ways...but there is so much more to that man.....he is a grown up too! The real reason we love them...My man is all man but he can do laundry and dishes and cook and care for a sick boy just as well as I can....he has ZERO delusions of what a man is...he steps up to the plate and does what needs doing. Granted our life is different from most..he is gone for many weeks at a time...he is not here for 80% of the year..just me and the boys for the most part. BUT when Ron is home he is HERE! No excuses and no job too small. I get to sleep in the entire time and he does the morning duty....So it is no surprise that Sam is like his Dad...and every day I tuck him into bed I say " I love you." He says "I love you more" and I say "I love you greater!"..and his beautiful nose wrinkles and we hug and hug some more...my little man that I KNOW will be a fantastic husband and great father and drive them all to distraction..lol..lucky them!

XO

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Black Eyed Peas - Where Is The Love?

It's the Joy of my Loveness..lol...


My Ty has been very sick for the past few days...and as such has eaten nothing. He has battled me over Tylenol..lol...I even threatened him with a suppository..lol...So today after a chewable Tylenol he felt better.(though I was the "awfulest Mommy ever!" for making him eat it)..And he started eating...and eating...and eating. He asked me for a snack of chips and cheese (kid nachos if you know what I mean) I said "You must be feeling better." And he says "It's the Joy of my Loveness." LOL! Huh? Mattias is 5 and the youngest of 4 boys. He's bright and fun but strong willed and a wee bit dramatic..lol...See the above pic? That is Ty in a nutshell. That statement took me by surprise though...The Joy of my Loveness....where did he get that from?

Just today I had one of THOSE Mom moments with his teacher...gulp..lol..I go to pick up his homework and she says "Have you talked to Sam's teacher?" No...I think I started shrinking...and she says I have something to show you...the room starts to spin a wee bit..."Sam brought this to his teacher. It was in his journal book." OH NO! Ty had written "Sam is a ASS 4 evr."..on TWO pages in BIG letters. I was Alice IN the tea pot at this point...going down the rabbit hole at full speed..lol....Mrs. Vothe starts to giggle hysterically...lol...phew...a teacher with a sense of humour! Sam's teacher thought it was funny too....and it is! Mattias has lost part of his innocence from being exposed to 3 older brothers..and their friends. He can quote Family Guy...I know..the shame of it..lol...But in his little boy way can be such a smart ass and get back at his brothers in surprising ways...lol...He had previously written FU Joe in Joe's planner...and yes...spelled correctly. UGHGH! I cannot control the influences around him 24/7 and at times I feel like a bad Mom that he knows so much of this stuff. And then he said "It's the Joy of my Loveness."

Mom is in there too! He IS listening to me on some level. He may not share it with his brothers at times..lol...but at least I know he is getting another influence that is about love and joy and kindness. Everyone always tells me how kind my boys are and I think REALLY? At home there is a lot of competition for attention and brothers bugging brothers. The occasional swear word...yelling match...things thrown...toys wrecked....it's a war zone at times..lol...I'm heartened by what others observe and by there loving language...when it does happen...lol..

Even when we have those days where our kids are driving us mad and getting caught doing mortifying things at school, just remember that somewhere, deep inside their minds....Mom and Dad are lurking..lol..our words and our actions are making an impression. As my oldest enters highschool next year I hope I'm still that loving voice in his head as he is faced with bigger boy challenges.

13/14 days without retail therapy. And 14 days thinking about bigger and better "things". :)

Love, Joy and Peace! XO

Words Matter

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.truth-out.org%2Fthe-wrath-fools-an-open-letter-to-far-right66686&h=82d91

An article posted on facebook by my fellow Peace Advocate Sue Thompson. Though the name calling is a bit much, and coming from grief and anger, the writer makes some very valid points about words and the lack of responsibility in the media.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Marching for Kindness


Like my poster? LOL...it's one of my favourites. Some people can't trust no matter what and have to come up with reasons or ulterior motives for your kindness. They cannot grasp an altruistic act...they are so closed minded and fearful. Was reading the blogs after Obama's speech last night and the right wing rhetoric was just as hateful and racist as before. Their fear is so heightened that they cannot even embrace the message of "Use your words for healing, not for wounding". They accuse Obama of campaigning and not being sincere. Did they watch the same speech? Yes. Did they actually listen? No! But, a lot of people did listen and are thinking about it and are talking about it. THAT is what creates change...honest, open communication!

Read today that Target is buying Zellers. Have never been to a Target so did some research. They are basically the same as Walmart with their employee practices and overseas suppliers. They bill themsleves as a higher quality store but it's the same cheap goods, made by enslaved workers and sold by underpaid employees. GREAT!...note the sarcasm...I do give them credit for their philanthropic efforts...ranked as the highest cash-giving company in America in percentage of income given (2.1%)....about 3 million a week....although Walmart ranked first in $$$...the percentage was only 1.3%. Can u tell I'm an accountant?..lol..

So here we are on day 13 and we are 12/13...mind you I have been stuck in the house with sick kids and have not been out..lol...my sister had to grab me some milk..lol..

Peace! XO

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Jon Stewart on the AZ shootings

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecomedynetwork.ca%2FDisplayblog.aspx%3Fbpid%3Df7eb2f9d-fe35-422d-9770-874ca758cde7&h=999cf

Words!


Today I went for a long hike after a gruelling cleaning at the dentist..lol..and talked with my friend John about the state of the world. Or should I say vented to him my anger of the craziness of it all...the violence, the misogyny, the use and abuse of the planet. He is so patient with me..lol..but we did agree that words have power.

I was just thinking that yesterday in reference to this blog. Was reading other blogs and noticed that the most popular use disparaging language or wicked swear words or insults to others to make their point. Was tempted for a bit to use a few key words..lol..but then I realized that first of all...that's not me..and second....this blog is not about bitching...it's about making change! So what if anyone reads it...but the path to change that I took starting 4 years ago began with the above poster....words for PEACE! In many languages. That is what drives me...peace for all...and how to achieve it? CHANGE!

Then I checked my facebook later in the day and my friend Jen had posted Jon Stewarts thoughts about the shootings in Arizona. His views took me back a bit....he had HOPE that this incident would create change. He saw the goodness of the victims..not the craziness of the shooter. He also pointed out that the vitriolic rhetoric of the two parties in the States may or may not have been a factor but that their actions and their words influence how we speak to each other! Maybe if our politicians used less hate and violent inuendo in their propaganda then maybe we would recognize crazy people sooner! HA!

So, if nothing else...let's speak kinder to each other...if we disagree let's remember we all have families too and that we want our kids to mirror civilized debate..not angry fist pumping bombasts.

10/11...and have no desire to shop. If we do get the snow they say we will I'll be on the mountain sliding down on my backside..lol...

Love and Peace! XO

Monday, January 10, 2011

MEN! Though I love mine so...lol....

Hubby left this morning for 5-6 weeks and I'm outnumbered and overwhelmed instantly! LOL! Just after 7 AM Joe says to me "Mom, shouldn't you be making breakfast?" Really Joe? Just because I had a 3 week break from the morning routine does not mean I forgot how to do it...GEEZ! And of course I kept myself super busy cleaning out closets and packing up clothes to pass along. Ben was home sick and Ty didn't have school so I floated in between their needs and my distraction requirement. Distraction works wonders when I'm upset or worried or just plain down in the dumps. I think I am an expert at this point..lol.....Went out for a bit to do this and that and take Bella for a hike...dam is it ever COLD! Picked up 2 from school then home to make cookies. Looking around at what else I can do to keep me busy...lol...What can I say? It's my personality...always has been.

Watched Food INC. with Ron and his BFF Greg last night. Loved their reactions! They had no idea of the disintegration of the food industry. They were appalled at the 13 slaughterhouses in the US..."You mean that burger I eat at McDonalds could have thousands of cows in it?" YES!  "The cereal I eat is made from genetically modified grain?" YES! All these years those two would just snort at me while I "informed" them of this and that and they watch ONE movie and are converted? REALLY? All I have to do is show them documentaries to get them on board? Even just yesterday I was telling the kids we would never swim with the dolphins again after watching "The Cove" and reading many articles...Ron snorted at me again and told me I go too far with this stuff. Next time he is home we are watching The Cove WITH Greg and then see what he has to say..GEEZ! Is it because I am a mere female? Is it because I overload those delicate male minds with too much information? Is it becasue the two of them are a couple of dinosaurs set in their ways and afraid to change? HA! Greg left swearing he was going to be more careful of how and what he buys...lol....Maybe they will listen to me from now on..LMAO! NOT! But, at least two more people are thinking about their consumer impact and how their $$$$ can influence change.

So we are 9/10...or 90%! Not bad...though I do have a $200 gift certificate to the Schuh Boutik burning a hole in my purse...lol....European SHOES! I do love them so..lol...

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Exceptions, Exceptions..lol...


Can you spot Ty? LOL!

Tax season has officially begun for me. The next four months will be a big push to get it done..lol...So had a client over last night to pick up 3 returns. Do you think I could find a pen anywhere? In any drawer? In the kids' rooms? OMG! Was my face red! LOL! So today I went to Staples and bought a HUGE pack of pens...I'm looking at them right now..lol...guarding them with my life...lol...So office supplies will have to be yet another exception. I do have plenty left over from last year but my stapler is toast...thanks boys...and have very few envelopes left. Of course I will need to get a box of paper and a spare toner cartridge just in case. I usually print about 5,000 pieces of paper during this time. I know...all those trees! But how can I get around the paper issue with taxes? I do E-file but the client needs a hard copy for their records. Will try to find 100% recycled paper with a decent quality. Anyone have any suggestions as to brand?

So I'm off to get ready for date night with hubby. We are meeting my brother and his wife at Mr. Mikes. The house wine is so yum..lol...Ron leaves Monday for 5 or 6 weeks...sigh. At least we had 3 fabulous weeks together. Hasta pronto mi amor.

Happy Saturday!

PS. If any football widows would like to leave the kids at home and join us please do...lol...XO

Friday, January 7, 2011

Grandma is DOWN

Crazy busy day....took my Sam to have his hearing tested..AGAIN! They have no clue why his right ear is not working and now have him using a Nettie Pot...feels good though....and he likes it too. Has my allergies to drywall and perfume and basically anything man made..HA! Pesticides are a no go in this house....we can eat advocado in Mexico but not in Canada...they spray them with "longer lasting" crap to make it here. The Pharmaceutical industry and Pesticide industry are the most damaging corporate entities on the planet and we just let them get away with it....WHY?

Then we went to see Grandma....sigh...she is so down and so sick of being in a rehab facility...but she is walking with a walker for a wee bit...and she likes her therapists. Breaking a hip at 91 and realizing you will most likely never be independant again must be depressing. And not one priest has come to see her after her surgery...have not asked her what she is thinking but can only surmise...

And did ZERO shopping today...Ron was busy with the mudder and of couse they drilled a screw through a pipe! LMAO! Welcome to renos in my house..lol..nothing ever goes smoothly..and an "expert" has to be called upon..lol..He had to have the mudder call a buddy..who actually is a tow truck driver!..and he came over to fix the pipe. LOL! Came home after 6 hours to my basement wet with sticky dry wall dust and my hubby asking me to clean it up....Thanks Babe..You are doing a GREAT job! ;)

So we are 6/7 after a very looonnnggg week. Keep thinking of Rhian and her life lessons..lol...And would like to add..after a very long day just "Keep Swimming"...those Disney movies have great advice sometimes..lol..

LOVE and PEACE! XO

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Pesticide wiping out the Bee Population

AVAAZ is an amazingly influential grass roots organization. Please sign their petition and help save the bee populations of the world.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fsecure.avaaz.org%2Fen%2Fsave_the_bees%2F%3Fcl%3D895537048%26v%3D8114&h=4dd2c
My baby Bella in one photo has reminded me of how hard it is to break old habits..lol....What a funny little puppy....always goes through her doggy door despite the main door being open. It makes us all laugh hysterically everytime. She will even come IN through the doggy door and have to bend her body so as not to hit the wall..lol...

So we are on day 6 and did not buy anything new today...WOOHOO! Of course I have avoided grocery shopping so as not to be near temptation and my kids are starving...lol ;) Will have to break down tomorrow and fill the pantry and fridge...lol..

Received a Christmas letter from one of my best friends. Rhian and I have been close for 28 years! GULP! LOL! A fellow Collabarative Consumer! She is also one of the funniest people on the planet. 3 pages about their life with 3 boys, one a new born, 3 dogs, 3 cats and 106 tropical plants...lol 

She ended her letter with the things she has learned in the last couple of years. Here it is:

- Don't Email people when you're post partum with the flu
- All of Rhian's problems are Norm's fault
- I didn't know anything was wrong with me until I met Norm's family
- Norm didn't know he was normal until he met mine
- You can never have too many plants, wine or boots
- You think you are the funniest person in the world at 4:00 am

LMAO!

I'd like to add to her list that humour will get you through the day no matter what happens.

Score is 5/6...but tomorrow will be a test when I drive by the final clearance sales..lol..

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dead Can Dance Tribute - Song Of The Dispossessed

New Stove Arrived!


Well here it is! The new stove has arrived and it's SELF CLEANING! WOOHOO! First time I have ever had one of those..lol...And the company took my old one away for free! It goes to the scrap metal contractor along with the others.

The drywall is almost completely up and ready to be mudded....yuck! The worst part of dry walling is the mudding and sanding and mudding and sanding.....BUT, the mud room won't take long now.

So we have not bought anything new besides the stove which needed to be replaced anyways. Energy efficient and bigger for those 30 lb beasts..lol....

Sam got invited to a birthday party for Saturday. Oh no! Now I have to buy new for a gift. Then I thought...EXPERIENCES! I will buy the boy an experience. Movie tickets? Hockey tickets? A play? Museum passes? Joined Groupon and found tickets to the Beaty Biodiversity Museum for $10! But they won't get here by Saturday so will get movie tickets. At least it's not supporting retail therapy and giving the boy some place to go...maybe even encourage some family time. We all know how expensive it is to take the whole family to the movies. But it's so exciting for the kids to see it on the big screen, in 3D and in those funky glasses.

So I'm scoring us 4/5. If you disagree please COMMENT! I noticed only 1 comment and she's one of my BFFs..lol...Maybe I should advertise this blog but I don't know where to start..lol....Technically challenged is an understatement..lol..

Happy Hump Day! :)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Building Materials

I have to make yet another exception. We are finally finishing the mud room and had to get more drywall...ughghg....and screws. I have issue with used drywall as mold and other such "unknowns" can be inside. This house was a grow-op and we had to tear out a lot of drywall before we could even move in. Got to be careful with that kind of building material...it really can be a health hazard.

Have yet to replace the oven as we were busy with a sick child...Mattias...and putting up drywall. Take out night! The oven is TOAST! The entire bottom framing is falling apart and the only thing holding it in place is the two counters it sits between! LOL! It must have been the 30 lb turkey that took it over the edge from functional...barely..to completely useless. Will have to call the Regional Recycling Centre and have a scrap metal contractor take it away. I wonder how much gets recycled?

Which brings me to a new topic...car seats! My friend had to throw away two car seats as they didn't meet safety standards. She called all around to find a recycling centre that would take them and no such thing! They are metal, plastic and fabric....what gives? She even offered to take them apart into building materials but they all said landfill only. How many car seats end up in the landfill every year?

So I will score us 3/4. The exceptions list is growing....sigh.

Monday, January 3, 2011

The oven is on its last legs!

Of course my ancient oven would decide to fall apart...literally...days after the promise not to buy new! Did a quick search of all the used sites and found nothing suitable. OYVEY! Will go to Matus in the am and support our local dealer. We bought the fridge from him and he promised free delivery next time so might as well take him up on that offer. So we make yet another exception to the rules....but at least the new oven will be power smart. The last of the dinosaurs in this house will be gone!

Did not buy anything new today! And can't wait for the SNOW!!!!

So we are 2/3!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Great article on the slavery of Walmart practices

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fhumantrafficking.change.org%2Fblog%2Fview%2Fwalmart_lobbies_to_keep_factory_wages_under_two_cents%23share_source%3Dblog-top_fb&h=bbcca

Netflix in bed with WALMART! Won't be getting Netflix for sure!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sprawl-busters.com%2Fsearch.php%3Freadstory%3D3846&h=bbcca

Success! LOL!

Day 2 and we managed to stay away from buying anything...or should I say Ron stayed away from the stores..lol...I joined two online groups that sell used goods. One is Fraser Valley Cheapcycle and the other is FullCirclesMission. Managed to check out Cheapcycle and found it to be an excellent resource. You have to request membership for both sites and they are very strict about what and how you post. The creator manages the site so you don't have to weed through a long list of spam or scammers. Really impressed!

I had to go to a Jewish Funeral today for my Grandma's (on my Mom's side who passed away in 2003) best friend Mimi...or Auntie Mimi as we called her. As is Jewish custom she had to be layed to rest within 3 days and the funeral was lovely. Passages from the bible read in Hebrew and Jewish songs. Auntie Mimi lost her husband at a very young age and became a single mother of 3. Born in Brooklyn, New York she moved to England to marry then to Canada with her 3 kids. She never let the bad bring her down. Her joy for life was too strong. She managed to raise her kids on a small salary with no credit! She even became a home owner in Vancouver and still managed to look fabulous during it all. Mimi knew how live without retail because she had no choice in her younger years. She and my grandma would sew clothes for the kids while both working full time for clothing companies. Ha!

So it's a little ironic that we lose such a wonderful and thrifty lady at the beginning of our journey. I will think of Mimi every time I pass those new hiking boots in the window and remind myself that not too long ago many women did not have the luxury of new and still managed to live life to the fullest!

Score - 1/2

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Day one and Hubby blew it!

OMG! My husband decided to go shopping! And where did he go? URBAN PLANET! And what did he buy? Sweat pants! And his excuse? "They were cheaper than Value Village" And guess where they were made...BANGLADESH! UGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we didn't even make one day without buying new! I am still committed to making the change....even if hubby doesn't want to join my "crusade" as he puts it. Crusade? More like a lifestyle choice. He's pretty sheepish right now so I hope that feeling remains when he goes out next time. I should have known this would happen.....he LOVES to shop. I guess I just have to laugh about this slip up and move on.

Did some more research on the subject and found a catch phrase that describe a new movement.Collaborative Consumption! Don't buy - Lend, Swap, Share and Borrow. Gone are the days of beg, borrow, steal....a new consciousness has many thinking about our impact on the planet. Collaborative consumption is a growing trend. Some families have created clothing swaps in their neighborhoods. Some schools have set up swaps year round in an unused room in the school. There are plenty of websites devoted to swapping or selling used goods. Craigslist has been a favourite of mine for some time. Bought a sauna, an elliptical trainer and some garden tools for much less than retail and in mint condition. Besides saving money, which is important when you have 4 growing boys to feed, buying used ensures that the goods don't end up in a land fill, that there is zero packaging to dispose of and resources are not being used to make and transport a new one. It really is common sense.

I understand the thrill of buying a new pair of shoes or finding that screaming deal in the mall. The just have to have it now moments. Guilty of impulse shopping and not thinking about the people that made it, how it got to the shop and the enormous resources used to display and sell the product. I have not set foot in a mall in over a year. I unconsciously began an anti-consumption program in 2010. Maybe it was because I hate shopping or because I got a dog so the focus was to go outside. Maybe caring for my dying mother shifted my focus and got me thinking about what is important in life. Whatever the reason the process had already started but to go 100% to collaborative consumption will still be a challenge. Which brings up the exceptions questions. My husband and I agreed that food, medications, vitamins, undergarments and shoes can be purchased new. We both believe proper foot wear is important, especially for growing boys. Will try my best to find decent used shoes but am not holding my breath. Also...school supplies? How do you source out used notebooks, pencils etc. May have to be another exception. Toiletries? Makeup, soap, toothpaste etc....those I will consider part of the grocery bill. I'm committed to the process but there is an ick factor to used toiletries. Internet? Videos? Games? I need the Internet for my job as an accountant so that stays. Movies will have to be pre-owned as well as PS3 games and Wii games. Magazines? I guess I have to beg to get peoples' seconds...lol...Can't think of any other exceptions at this time but will post if anymore come up.

So here we are..Day 1 of the challenge. 0/1....failed already but will keep trying. HUSBANDS! UGGGG! LOL!
Susan