Thursday, June 2, 2011

Just take a Pole dancing class...

Amanda and I at Cabo Wabo in 2007. Amanda was my nanny for 5 weeks...and much younger and MUCH smaller than has worked with Joe since he was 2 1/2. I needed her for support and her knowledge of our family and Joe's "quirks" at the time. He was 6 at the time and just started talking but still had anxiety issues. We "moved" to Cabo San Lucas for a few months thinking we would relocate on a permanent basis. It didn't work out. My kids were not hills to lakes. We swam a lot at the ocean and in the pool at the villa we rented but they got bored really quickly. Paradise? Maybe for retired adults but not people raising a family...playgrounds barbed wired as they were for use for the school only.....the military with machine guns walking around..the constant as old as 7 in pull ups so they don't take a pee break...not the atmosphere I wanted to raise my kids in. Not to mention the drunken fools walking around at all hours of the day...the young people with barely any clothes on...good for them but not for my kids. And it really made me think about body issues...

At the beaches the Mexican women wore jeans and t-shirts in the water....very few had real bathing suits. It is frowned upon in their culture to wear a saw many many women in full clothing swimming. And then you had the retired crew....they didn't give a shit what they looked like and wore the teensie eensie teeny weeny bikini or speedos....they were there to ENJOY the sun and surf and at their ages could care less what people thought. Then you had the expats...the people from the US or Canada or Germany or wherever...that lived there year round. They wore whatever they wanted too! The tourists let it all hang out...BIG women in bikinis...BIG men in speedos. So strange to me as a person that grew up in a rain that had beautiful summers too. The atmosphere is if you don't like it don't our culture we are so consumed with what we look like we tend to cover up the flaws and all...we don't embrace the body we have at all! We have grown women in their 40's with eating disorders...REALLY?

Come on! Get over it already...we love you for you not your body! That time in Mexico made me see the light! I saw the poverty...the hard working people that live in shacks...and the hordes of people half naked that were NOT super models... and realized that my body has NOTHING to do with my self worth anymore....we have issues in this country and in this world that require our FULL participation. We have issues that we have ignored for so long in our consumer culture that we have dropped the ball on our own HEALTH! GMOs anyone? We have been brainwashed by the elite to believe that our bodies are the TRUE reflections of our self worth that we have forgotten that human compassion and debate and dissent are required by us to create a functional world. We LET the corporations take over as we went to tanning booths that kill we went to fast food places to drown our we went to every weight loss gimmick in the book. Many had "procedures" that would feed a hot lunch program for a year...but they got the big boobs and the big lips or the butt implants? What the hell? In Brazil they have more plastic surgeries per capita than any place in the world...yet they have "killing" teams that hunt down homeless children and shoot them on the spot. TRUE! Google it! And you are worried about how good you look naked? REALLY?

I know I preach...I preach and I preach and I preach......I just wish we would all turn our focus on something OTHER than our bodies....we have been brainwashed to do so! 20 something models selling us eye cream? Really people? You going to buy it? How about getting some Vit E cream and giving a few bucks to the food bank....or sending a few bucks to your local PAC to buy new equipment for the school....or a few bucks to the woman overseas that has nothing and has 7 kids. I was THERE! I get it! Now come to the other side ladies....just let all those hang ups go and come to the other side of it. They never go away but when they show up you know where it comes from and you can laugh about it...and stop it in it's tracks. I "need" a tummy tuck and a boob lift but I would rather go to Europe with my husband and see the farm his family left in 1535. THAT is what life is about. He would rather go on a family trip to Alberta...and show the boys how to drive a combine...THAT is what life is about.

Standing in front of the mirror naked I feel beautiful. I ain't no super model...or porn star for that my saggy creased body is mine! Every inch has a story...every stretch mark has a child attached to it...sometimes all's not beautiful by consumer standards....I know that...but it gives me the ability to be the best I can be...

Let's jump in the ocean together...I won't be in bikini...not a good look for I will be in a suit and snorkel and swim and play and have fun...LIFE IS SHORT! Enjoy it! And PLEASE PLEASE think about something bigger than your breasts or your really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Take a pole dancing class and hang upside's liberating! Your body is meant for more than to look can move and play and tease and help...and create change!

Big Momma Ass love to you all...XO


  1. Great message Susan - I couldn't agree more. Just one comment on clinically diagnosable eating disorders... (I say 'diagnosable' because everyone I know has disordered eating, but it all exists on a continuum/spectrum, just as ASD does) Eating disorders are complex things, and NOT about food or even vanity. They are about control, self-esteem, trauma, perfectionism, all kinds of DAMN things, but not about food.

    I highly recommend Geneen Roth's 'Women, Food and God'... and despite our non-religious viewpoints, this book is enormously relevant to every woman and girl, and many men and boys.

    You've done many (relatively) posts on body image and your frustration with others around it... maybe you're frustrated that you struggle with body image even though you "know better"? Your insights are profound but the struggle is never linear - you don't reach the end and it's over. It's a constant practice, just as so many other things are in life.

    Thanks for your words. xo Jen

  2. I have posted about body issues so much as I am surrounded by women that have body issues...and have many a dear friend willing to talk about it. Let's talk about it!!! I know that many think I am very confident and I am!...but I do see myself as bigger than I am...grew up obese as a child and was abused in many I see myself bigger at times as a defence mechanism...and I get where it comes from. I do see the real me when I look in the mirror..sometimes a tattoo of my stretch marks would be cool..then I think...hold on...I gave birth enough..maybe a henna?

  3. I'm going to pick up that book Jen. The struggle is never linear and it is constant. But I think that is what life is about really...reminding yourself daily that the center of the universe is not YOU...despite our feelings of inadequacy at times. It's so easy to live in a bubble and think in this bubble. I've been need control in a bubble as it is so small. Cucumbers and vinegar days are over for me and wish that for everyone. I'm fighting city hall! Supporting my Saudi sisters to drive! Fighting Monsanto and demanding GMO legislation! Etc...etc....Not to mention trying to raise independant, thoughtful men...OYVEY! Biggest challenge of them all!

  4. you're totally welcome to my copy - remember no retail! ;) Have a mother-lovin', sweet dancin' bday party! Cheers. xo