This is my 91 year old Grandma. We call her Poi Poi..lol...yes that's right...Poi Poi! When we were babies she thought it was Haiwain for Grandma...and didn't realize that poi was actually a porridge...LOL! This is the days before the internet....when you had 12 channels and no remote....you get the picture...lol...So the name stuck and I LOVE IT! It's a term of endearment for our dearest Grandma. One of the greatest influences to me as a woman. She and my Grandpa would take us kids on vacations. We went to Victoria and Seattle and cruised Vancouver. My parents didn't have the money to so my Grandma made sure we travelled, went to the "Theatre". I saw the Nutcracker at age 8 at the QE and was mesmerized! I kept holding her hand and looking at her smiling. I remember it like it was yesterday. Ballet, plays, orchestras, operas....I got to see it all! When I graduated high school she and my aunt took me to Europe for 3 weeks and we went everywhere! I couldn't keep up to my then 68 year old Grandma even at age 18! HA! It's a gift to a young person without means....it opens your heart! Your mind! It gives you the ability to DREAM!
Grandma believes in working hard and enjoying as much as you can. She is kind and generous and an advocate for the poor and the elderly. She has always volunteered to raise money for various charities and was instrumental in getting blanket warmers in the maternity wards in the local hospitals. Even at age 91 she went every week to the BC Tel Pioneers Charity. Joan worked for BC Tel for 40 years. She was on the old fashioned switch boards and worked the coastal lines and heard men drowning on fish boats and could only pray with them.
And on November 27, 2010 she fell and broke her hip in 6 places. It broke our HEARTS to see her in a HALLWAY at Surrey Memorial for 18 HOURS....and transferred to Orthopedics to endure 4 days of waiting for surgery and then having that surgery with many plates and pins put in. After a month she was transferred to a rehabilitation centre and has been there for just over 2 months. They are sending her home in 3 weeks and she cannot get out of BED! She needs assistance to go to the bathroom and shower and move.
So here we are! Our dearest loved one in a position of needing 24 care and now we have to decide what to do. My Aunt Di that was living with her is close to 70 so she cannot look after her. My other Aunt Val works full time and my Dad was just diagnosed with prostate cancer (stage 1) so they are out. I live an hour a way and have 4 kids. I HATE the thought of Poi Poi in a home.....I weep as I type. My strong, kind, funny, giving Grandma...the light of our lives.....now requiring our greatest love to give her Peace in the end. So I looked into a full-time live in caregiver. Found 3 really terrific candidates in 2 hours. Two are from the Philippines and their English is not great but their skill level is fantastic! One is from England and older but has more in common with Grandma and has a louder voice!...Grandma is hearing impaired to the point where if the hearing aids are not in and on high she is NOT listening...lol...
So here we go...What is BEST for Grandma...being in her own home with a full-time companion and family coming and going OR going to a facility where she will receive 24 hour care but be surrounded by strangers...though she will have access to social activities she would not have otherwise. I fear if we get her home care she may become a recluse which is NOT her. If we get her a live in will it cause her more stress? Fear of a stranger? Keep in mind this a very vulnerable, mobility challenged, hearing challenged elderly person. So I ask for your advice. Which would you choose? And why?
On a funnier note...hubby had his 50th Bday and yes I bought the CHEESY decorations. How could I not? Surprised him with 24 friends and family at a restaurant...tee hee....He LOVED it! Which makes us 52/55 days without retail. I'll take the hit...it was worth it to see his face when he saw the blow up walker and 50's sun glasses. :):)
Big Momma Tough Decision Love to you all! XO