WALMART! GRR!

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Exceptions and Confessions

The pool in the back yard. It seems the entire neighborhood of boys has clued in that it's full, warmish and clean...lol....It's good though. I like knowing where my kids are. The back yard mecca is not complete without the pool up. They have a trampoline, swing set, "tree house", hot tub and an area for riding bikes, chalk art and painting. They also play ball games back there. It's a well used, busy busy yard. But I do have to keep pool chemicals on hand and went out and stocked up. That many kids requires a daily testing and dosing. I'm going to call pool chemicals an exception. Good luck finding them used. Got some from a friend that closed her pool down but have not found any leftovers any where else. And it`s important to keep the pool clean with that much use so it just has to be an exception.

The confession is the new POOL TOYS! Some blow up volley ball games, some new rafting tubes. The others were toast from last year. My kids are hard on toys...especially the blow up plastic kind. I know you all know what I mean. I have THOSE kind of boys. Rough and tumble is an understatement. The testosterone in this house is ridiculous at times. Add the sun and water play then you get the picture....it`s Lord of the Flies! LOL! So taking a hit for those. Looked in a thrift store and only found barbie pink water wings.....ummmm...not going to work...lol! But I did stock up! Ready for when they break..or Shan`s dog comes over..lol! Love Magnum but he is a huge ass puppy that eats everything in sight. Funny!

So that brings the score to 24/186 days of retail...or 12.9%. A friend told me about a thrift store in Abbey that just opened up. Can`t remember the name but it`s by Buns Masters near Seven Oaks. I think the mosquitoes have sucked some of my brain power..LOL! Or the sun finally shining! I also compared my spending from last year at 6 months to this year....I`ve saved into the thousands! I`m NOT kidding. It adds up so quickly. I really thought I was very frugal....not even close! We saved enough to go on a super vacation. Not just the colonies any more. I get to fulfill one of my deepest wishes...hiking the Jasper Columbia Ice fields! Have dreamed of doing it for 20 years....and we are doing it as a family...even better!

Frugal Big Momma love to you all. XO

Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day to all!

We just got back from the big celebration in the park. They had bouncy castles, pony rides, rock climbing, hay rides, lumberjack shows, dog agility shows, extreme biking show..etc...etc..The kids had a blast. Went to see Dad at the Elk's trailer and got the foot long hot dogs with onions, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, hot peppers and mustard. YUM! They had all kinds of concessions. And the stage was always busy with dancers and musicians. Well done! A terrific turn out from the community too. We love our Canada....and a good party too...lol...

Off to a BBQ to celebrate some more. To live here is a privilege. I honestly feel grateful to be born and raised in this country. The access to clean water, food, education, housing...the remarkable people I have met over the years. Volunteerism is alive and well in Canada. So is political activism. Something we are allowed to do without fear of reprisal. It's easy to take our comfort and safety for granted.

So here is a big CHEERS to Canada! We love you so!

Proud Canadian Big Momma love to you all. XO

I feel like it was my fault

I am writing this post with a heavy heart. Recently a friend posted an article written by a journalist that described her PTSD and her need to re-enact a rape to get over it. It brought back a flood of memories of my dear friend and study partner in accounting school. There were 4 of us that were really close. To protect their privacy I will call them A, B and C. A was the single mother of two and the kindest person you could ever meet. B was a married Mom of 2 with an ambition to succeed like no other person I have ever met. C was my age and single like me and we both had no clue about a lot of stuff but liked to have fun. We all studied hard together, shared notes, complained about instructors....and shared our deepest fears....our desires..our insecurities. We cried and laughed. It was a wonderful 2 years...until the unthinkable happened.

C was slipped a date rape drug and repeatedly raped. She woke up naked in a hotel room and had no idea where she was....who did what..how many....how long. The police never caught the guy or guys but she was injured both physically and mentally.....a shell of her former self. She wouldn't go out...go to school...go anywhere for months. We tried but to no avail...then she showed up on my doorstep one day all giddy and showing me her new tattoo. I thought great! C is coming back and needs to self express with a tattoo. Then came another and another and another. Okay I thought...it's a bit much but whatever helps her feel whole again. Then came the men...all ages, shapes..from all walks of life. I thought okay...she is enjoying sex again. "A" was worried and "B" was disapproving but I was the most supportive friend a girl could have. Then came the S&M...for the most part not dangerous and really role play...So I thought...um..okay...if she needs to feel in control then she needs that...I supported her decisions whole heartedly...not understanding it but just going with it...but it got deeper than that...it got to whips that hurt and strangulation during sex. I still didn't say anything negative....I still was supportive and thought she knew what she was doing. At this point "A" just kept hugging tighter and "B" was disgusted.

On June 4th, 1994 I got a call from "C's" Mom...she was found dead in a hotel room from strangulation at the age of 24. Almost 3 years to the day she was raped. The next day I open the paper and there was a huge article on PTSD..Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...The Iraq war in 1991 had led to an increase in PTSD in many soldiers and was an issue at that time. I read it and cried my eyes out! I had encouraged every behaviour that was a sign of PTSD...every single one of them!...sigh...I in my stupidity was thinking I was helping her when all I was doing was feeding her stress...VALIDATING IT! FUCK!  "B" read the same thing and called me up and told me point blank I was responsible for her death....I gave her behaviour "credibility"...I was the scapegoat for her. "A" called me and cried and we went for a walk and hugged and cried some more.

17 years later I still feel responsible some how...of course know what to look for NOW but back then I didn't...I just accepted "C" for all she was..I accepted the things I knew in my heart were not her nature but then again I had not been drugged and raped and left alone to wake up naked with blood all over my body. Who was I to judge? I should have judged! I should have done some research at least....I should have...I could have...I DIDN'T! The biggest most heart wrenching mistake of my life...my ignorance was just that...complete and BLIND ignorance. Could I have changed the course of her life if I knew? I don't know but I would have fought like HELL to do so...instead I gave it "credibility".

I guess my point is if some one you love or even just know is behaving the opposite of what they usually do...they may have a problem....they may need your support to seek therapy or drugs or anything other than what they are doing. I weep as I type this....a kind and thoughtful woman lost herself and I encouraged it....Don't make the same mistake....do SOMETHING!

This is the first and last time I will talk about it...."A" died of cancer two weeks before my Mom died last September...."B" died of cancer two weeks after Mom died last September....I loved all of them. I'm the last of the "Number Warriors"....Miss their laughter over that...over everything.

Regretful Big Momma love to you all XO

I Officially have a teenager!

Ben and his 4 closest friends...I call them the stomachs in the basement...lol...sometimes I have all of them down there and you never see them except for food and drink runs upstairs. I can sure HEAR them though. The other boys bring their TVs and game systems and they set up gamer heaven in the rec room...lol...They venture outside to play soccer or jump on the trampoline or sit in the hot tub but for the most part they are "The stomachs in the basement". I really love these boys. And am so proud of them as they have all graduated Elementary school as of today. My stomachs are teens! My oldest is a teen off to high school!

The school put on a Grad ceremony and it was lovely. Lots of talented kids played guitar, played the violin, skipped, danced and made speeches. Ben didn't do any of it but that is who he is...the quiet observer...that notices EVERYTHING! He wants to be a Homicide Detective when he grows up....which surprised me at first as he is such a gentle giant but it does make sense. His mind is geared that way...he has a mind for detail and logic and I think he would make a fine police officer. But there is work to do first....getting through high school...GULP!

My Mom always said the hardest T years were NOT the toddler years...it's the TEEN years and I now get it.....you hope you layed the groundwork for them to make good choices....you hope they get that their actions during these years can affect them their entire lives.....wear a condom Ben...PLEASE! Don't do drugs! Don't party like an idiot...then get in a car. Don't speed around with a load of buddies and crash and burn. Don't skip school because you want to play games...Don't smoke...Don't smoke pot!

I could on and on....and am sure many of you out there can add to the list or share your experiences...and please do! I need all the help I can get...lol. Know of many families that have lost a teen due to their young, invincible, stubborn..."it will never happen to me" attitude. I know it could happen...that's the thing....good kids do stupid things that they regret for the rest of their lives or they don't get to live the rest of their lives....you can be the BEST parent in the world but there is no guarantee that they won't behave the opposite of what you taught them. Look at the Vancouver riot....mostly young people...I bet their parents are mortified that their kid was involved....I would be...yet those kids did it....knowing it was wrong....using the excuse they were "caught up in the moment". So everything your parents taught you for the last 15+ years went right out of your head just like that? YES! Pretty much they became their alter egos and destroyed property and hurt others....Comforting eh?

So I embark on the teen years with my Mom's words in my mind...know where they are...get phone numbers...make them get a job at 15...remind them daily that they are responsible for themselves! Every time they walk out the front door they have to make the right choices....and I will be reminding Ben daily to do so....and hope with all HOPE that he does!

Big Momma with a teen LOVE to you all! XO

Would love to hear from you parents out there with teens. Any and all advice is most welcome.

Boots are Strapped ON!

CRAZY few weeks....more to do than a person should have but typical of every Mom I know this time of year. The end of the school year means field trips, teacher luncheons, hot lunch days, sports days, kindergarten graduation and grade 7 graduation. To make it even busier Grandma has been hospitalized over an hour away and getting there as much as I can. Hubby came home for a bit and decided to build a tree house that turned into a 3rd story deck and now he is gone until mid July. Phewww.........

So this is how the weeks have gone.....Grandma is hospitalized overnight and we rush to see her the next day at home....lovely visit but ankles swollen...hmmmm....and sure enough that night had trouble breathing and was rushed to hospital again where she has remained. Congestive heart failure and minor strokes and at age 92 she is most likely to remain there until she passes. We are all on edge and very very sad. Hard to watch a person that has meant so much to you fade away...and that is what it is...a fading of life. Big SIGH!

Deck is being built during this time and then Ron leaves...the next day was the teacher luncheon...

Four of us had spent HOURS decorating and setting up the day before...the Great Gatsby Tea Party vision that kind of got away from us...lol....but we wanted it perfect and "THE" vision. We sheered the walls with white lights behind and had flower garlands draped on those. Fine china plates and cups and saucers (which we rented) and fine serving dishes and spoons. Vases with fresh flowers...that I had to beg, borrow and steal to fill...lol...and so many Moms cooked homemade delights. Tea for all and punch too. It was beautiful! Some teachers cried....some were in shock. It was so totally worth it...but a demanding job to say the least. Next day was hot lunch that I rushed to help with as I had to take the dishes back. Then grocery shopping before school was out....pheww!

Busy weekend with many a child sleeping over....and many kids just hanging out. I had the pool set up and it was nice so the neighborhood came over..lol..

 First field trip....WHITEROCK! And it rained!

Here is my drenched Sammy but we had fun and discovered lots of slimy stuff...lol..

Visits with grandma and typical Mom stuff the rest of the week until Thursday when I was up at 5:30 am to get Ben to school in time for the bus to Victoria...and overnight stay where they got to see the Parliament buildings, stay at the U of Vic dorms and tour the university. The Bug Zoo and all other kind of fun stuff. Picked him up Friday night and he was exhausted! LOL! But he loved it and when he got home he crashed pretty early. Father's Day was spent at the Old Car Sunday in the Park event. My Dad was running the Elk concession so we had to go and say hello and buy a few foot long hot dogs. I had an extra boy then picked up another boy there...lol...

Look at my little guy....almost half his size but he finished it and had an ice cream.....where do they put it? LOL!

So that was my few weeks in a nut shell. Have 2 more field trips, sports day, Grade 7 graduation, kindergarten graduation and another hot lunch day in the next 8 days....cue William Tell Overture! LOL!

Have not shopped and it was the consensus that fair trade shopping is allowed! I do not have to score a point as it's direct from the artisan. WOOHOO! Except we now have a postal strike so no shopping for me..Last score was 148/171 days without retail. 23 days of retail in almost 6 months.....not perfect but I'm getting better.

Exhausted Big Momma love to you all. XO

Round up and birth defects...sigh....

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.naturalnews.com%2F032707_RoundUp_birth_defects.html&h=6b7e2

Antibiotic use in livestock and its consequences

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/opinion/12kristof.html

Water is a gift for all, not a commodity to be sold

Water is a gift for all, not a commodity to be sold

How to live in 320 square feet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6Y15dxUZN3s

Loved the message this family has...it's not what you DON"T have it's what you DO have. Peaceful living.